I made a vlog. 

Happy Caturday.

"I think about you so often. Everyday in fact. It’s alarming actually, I didn’t think this would happen. Funny what a night spent in another’s arms can do to someone. I so often long to be back there, your scent overwhelming my senses as you play with my hair. I wonder what it would feel like to press my lips against yours again. I often wish you had the time to know I felt this way. Instead I hide it, embarrassed by how you may react. It’s no mystery that first kiss was just ‘that one kiss’ for you. Something friends do when they’re lonely in the dark. For me it’s become the start of every second I’ve grown to miss it and crave more. How unfair of my mind to crave attention of someone who does not want to give it. Sometimes I wonder what would come of me exposing these thoughts, but it always ends with a friendly cast to the side, and then all interactions would stop; me too ashamed, you put into an awkward unbalanced attraction. So I sit here, wanting every part of you I can’t have."

(Source: monstersinmybathtub)

"I believe in time travel with every nostalgic song I hear."

(Source: monstersinmybathtub)

"I am an endless facet of excuses. Reasons why I do or do not. Forgive me for my dishonesty. So often a reason hides one simple idea, that I decide my own course of action. Forgive my free will, for it seems it does not fit into your schedule."

(Source: monstersinmybathtub)

"The butterflies I get from even the thought of you are both beautiful and so very sad. Like when you have the most wonderful dream you can ever remember having, and you have to go about your morning knowing that it hasn’t happened outside of your mind."

(Source: monstersinmybathtub)

(Source: monstersinmybathtub)

"She was that glamorous kind of disorganized. You know the type. They walk around forgetting little things in their daily life because their heads are too far up in the clouds. Her bedside table is stacked high with books she’s gotten halfway through. Papers fill the crevices of her bookshelves, covered in little notes. Yesterday’s tea cup is still sitting there empty because she fell asleep when it was finished.
You’re jealous of the way she lives her life. With every breath she takes she breaths out passion. I think her world would end if she ever had to sit in a cubicle for eight hours a day. The world is made up of many different kinds of people, she’s the kind you’re always drawn to. You’ll see her in various places, she’s easy to recognize. She’s the girl in the bookstore laughing to herself, reading the cover of a novel she’s never heard of. You’ll find her in antique shops for hours, touching every beautiful old gem she can find, maybe she’s trying to find where it’s memories are hiding. She’s walking down the street but there’s no purpose in her walk. I don’t think she knows where she’s going very often, I just think she enjoys getting there.
You long for her life, you don’t know what it is that makes her tick, but maybe if you figured it out you’d find yourself."

(via suus-indomitus-mens)

"The guy who sits behind me smells like you. Well, like Tahoe you. Old beer, and cigarettes, and freedom. Except you have a hint of vanilla. He just has a really bad ass mustache. When he passes me to sit down i’m both happy and sad."

(via suus-indomitus-mens)

"I can only apologize so many times until my words become nothing. I’m watching every phrase I utter turn into dust. The only thing you can count on is that at some point I will let you down. Here are some more words that will mean nothing to you, but be careful my heart is whispering them, i’m so very sorry."

"And maybe you’re still alive somewhere, and living a life, but you’re life here is gone. You no longer exist as a real entity in my own reality, you’re made of memories, as solid as the fog in the mornings. Sometimes I see you’re online, or that someone has posted a picture of you; to me at that point it’s just a work of fiction. A glitch in my reality, i’m just seeing ghosts."

"As we lay there in the dark of your bedroom, the softness of our breath in rhythm, you thought I was asleep. I felt you shift your weight and turn toward me. I didn’t dare open my eyes. You began to play with my hair, I tried so hard to keep my breathing at a normal pace, hoping you couldn’t hear my heartbeat. I wondered in that moment what you were thinking. Wondering in the dark if we were both falling in love."

(Source: monstersinmybathtub)

"I often find myself in the awkward predicament of developing a level of socially acceptable apathy. When did it become so taboo to express excitement over life, moments, people? Too many times do I silence myself out of anxiety. Too many times has my tongue been held because i’m forgetting how to say what’s on my mind."

(Source: monstersinmybathtub)

"I want to fill your senses like the smell of the seasons first rain, to give you chills as if i’m made of a winters cold breeze. I want your mouth to form my name in ways that make me believe it didn’t exist until you uttered it. I long for the love you and I have in my imagination."

(Source: monstersinmybathtub)

"Sometimes I think of you, usually its in the moments when you’ve just gone a few steps past me. I wonder if the look I flashed at you made me look like a fool, and what you’re thinking. Truth be told I wonder that often, what you’re thinking. I’m so good at reading people, yet the only thing I’m sure of about you is that you have hazel eyes that I have to stop myself from looking at too long. I know you’re smart, and that you’ve fallen in love three times, and that you want to see the world. You ask me to write for you and it makes me uneasy because I don’t know what my boundaries are, and if saying you’re beautiful is past them, even if only as a friend; but I’m a writer and I’d write you pages if you asked it of me."